F*ck You Funds
Shownotes
Alright y’all, we are getting brutally honest and vulnerable today by talking about F*ck You Funds, what they are, and why if you don’t have one already, you should make it a top priority for your finances RIGHT NOW
So an F*ck You Fund is basically having enough money that belongs to YOU.
Like, it is in your own personal bank account, saved and available to you so that you have the freedom and stability to leave a toxic situation, whether that be a job, a relationship, a house or apartment that you hate, or (on a brighter note) even want to take advantage of a new & exciting once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like backpacking through Europe for a month.
But I can’t even begin to tell you how many conversations I have had with women in the Save Live Thrive™ community that have shared something with me along the lines of: “I am in a toxic relationship right now, but I don’t have the funds to leave” or “I absolutely hate my job but can’t quit until I have something else lined up”
And the thing is, this situation is NOT uncommon.
I’m going to share a couple of statistics with you, and if you want to check out the articles I’ve pulled them from, they are there for you in my shownotes.
According to a survey by PYMNTS and Lending club, 70% of millennials are living paycheck to paycheck
In a 2018 survey by Glamour that asked over 1,000 women about their finances, the results found that….
51% of women had less than $500 in savings
51% of women said they have had a $0 balance or have overdrawn their bank accounts at least once in the previous year
71% of said they have stayed in a job because they couldn't afford to leave
31% said they’ve been financially trapped in a relationship
Those are some pretty staggering numbers.
And, honestly, I’ve been in a similar situation myself.
The story of when I didn’t have a F*ck You Fund
About 5 years ago, I was in a toxic relationship that I couldn’t leave because we had just bought a car together (in my name) with no contract.
Side note: I’m not a fan of co-mingling finances outside of joint living expenses (joint living expenses being things like splitting groceries, rent, and utility bills) with a partner before marriage. Bigger purchases (like buying a house or a car together) can absolutely can be done if you have the right contracts and legal backing in place–like a cohabitation agreement–but the thing is that a lot of people DON’T take the legal precautions to protect themselves. And I know that for myself, if I’m not married to someone and that relationship ends, I want to be able to leave as quickly and seamlessly as possible. This falls into the whole idea of “prepare for the worst and hope for the best.”
But ANWAYS, back to the story. I had just bought a car with my ex, in my name, with no contract in place. And it was honestly a month after the first loan payment that I started picking up some hardcore signs of infidelity, but I shrugged them off because there was now this car payment that was in my name that I couldn’t afford on my own.
And, omg, that sucked.
Fast forward a few months, to when I knew without a doubt that I was being cheated on and I left the house we had JUST rented and moved into with like $1,000 in my bank account.
Luckily, my mom only lived like 45 minutes away AND one of my best friends was signing a lease at a new apartment within a few months. So I spent the summer living with my mom while I waited until I could move into that new apartment with my friend.
But… that didn’t totally solve the problem of me being able to pay for that car. And I had to call my ex on SEVERAL OCCASIONS asking for money for the car payment.
That was honestly one of the most humiliating and rock-bottom financial moments of my life.
And, truth be told, I was really freaking lucky in a lot of ways in that situation:
I was lucky that the timing worked out with finding a new place to live
I was lucky that I lived close enough to family to be able to crash for a few weeks
I was lucky that my ex acknowledged the verbal agreement we made about that car.
Things could have gone VERY differently.
Sallie Krawcheck, CEO and Co-Founder of Ellevest says that “Money is power, money is freedom, money is confidence, money is “Creepy boss, take your hand off my leg.’ Money is ‘I’m starting my dream business.”
And to everyone that’s listening to this podcast right now, I hope that you PLEASE take this podcast episode as a sign to never let yourself be stuck in a toxic situation that you’re unable to leave because you don’t have the funds to leave it.
How is an F*** You Fund different than an emergency fund?
So you’ve probably heard of an emergency fund before (if you’ve been listening to previous episodes of this podcast, then I KNOW you have), but how is an F*ck You Fund different?
You would typically use an emergency fund for things like a car accident, you have to make a trip to the emergency room, or you lose your job unexpectedly. These are like one time events that are generally single instances and force you to react quickly with your money.
Whereas an F*ck You Fund basically expands the scope of your emergency fund, so that you can leave toxic situations that you might talk yourself into staying in if the money isn’t there otherwise (i.e. continuing to live with a terrible roommate because you don’t have enough money for the security deposit and first month’s rent at a new apartment)
How do you start an F*ck You Fund?
First, you want to identify how much you need saved.
So an emergency fund generally around 3-6 months worth of expenses, an F*** You Fund is around 6-9 months worth of expenses. Basically, it’s enough to cover emergencies that could come up during that time and then some. So it’s giving you that extra freedom, security, and flexibility with your finances, and therefore your life.
Then, start saving little by little.
Go through your spending and see if there are any areas you can cut back on (like canceling unused subscriptions)
Set up automatic transfers to savings
Keep your F*ck You Fund out of sight & out of mind. It can be really tempting to transfer money from a savings account that is directly connected to your primary checking, so I would definitely say to even consider keeping it at an entirely different institution if you don’t trust yourself not to pull from it.
My favorite place to keep savings goals like this is in a High Yield Savings Account, and I’ll include a link in the shownotes of my favorite HYSA monthly comparison by NerdWallet. I’m a big fan of NerdWallet’s editorial guidelines, and you can even filter the results by the state you live in so you can find the best offers near you.
It’s also important to remember that an F*ck You Fund isn’t JUST about the numbers, either. It’s also about building new skills (which can give you more freedom to leave a toxic job or transition careers) and a network of people that can support you (like my mom and my friend were for me). This network could be friends and family, it could be old colleagues or friends from college that could put in a referral for a job, whatever!
And, finally, remember that this fund is there to protect you. It’s there to maintain your financial freedom, your independence, your creativity, your health, your mindset, and so much more. And those are all things that you DON’T want to put on the back burner.
Closing Thoughts
You have to be your biggest advocate. No one is going to look out for your financial future more than you.
So remember to take a few steps forward every day to get closer and closer to your financial goals. Because the more steps you take, the more power, freedom, and confidence you will feel around your finances.
That is all that I have for you today!! Thank you so much for listening. If there is someone you know that this episode would resonate with, please share it with them! Remember that I dropped a couple of links in the shownotes about this topic and some additional reading, so be sure to check all of that out!!
I’ll see you next week!
Resources & Additional Reading
NerdWallet High Yield Savings Account Comparison
“A Story of a Fuck Off Fund” by Paulette Perhach (an incredibly moving post)
Work With Charlotte
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